As today unfolds, what began as a typical Wednesday has turned dark and confusing and heavy. The passing of a friend is always a sobering thing. But when one takes their own life, it comes with an explosion of emotion.
What ifs run rampant. Hind sight consumes me. Guilt, regret, sorrow. And the resurfacing of my own family's experiences as my grandparents previously also took their lives. It never goes away.
We worry about the spouse left behind. The parents who see a child untimely taken. And the kids who will now have to cope and live with the unthinkable.
All the logical arguments seem to be wasted thought. The encouragements all seem hollow. And even prayers seem almost trivial, at this point.
I've read that "grief is a multifaceted response". And so it is. And although we may all refract the light in different ways, we are all commonly bound by our humanness. And in that, our need for some resolution to reveal itself on the other side of the coin.
I am convinced that we can trust a well-placed Faith in God to bring some sanity to what seems like a time of insanity. To reveal a hope that we can cling to when life becomes uncertain.
For me, I'm immediately reminded of Romans 8:38-39.
"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
The love of God is our constant certainty. Greater far, than any tongue can ever tell. Beyond the highest star, and reaching to the lowest hell.
The hope and resolution we long for will always be found in Him, when our grief gives way to the realization to reach out to Him.